I didn't shave. On purpose
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Randomize
