If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
