"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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