He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
MIDGETS
????
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize