That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize