On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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