She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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