I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
