Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
organizing the empties. That sober.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
