So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
It's never too late to be topless.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
