i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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