is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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