The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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