# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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