I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize