sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Say something about gay babies.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
