I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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