i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize