Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
