yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
