I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
