i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
