St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Randomize
