Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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