How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
