We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
i wish my penis had a tongue
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
