Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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