well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
