3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
