Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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