I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Randomize
