The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
