her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Sorry about my life...
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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