Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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