can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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