yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
areolas are like halos for boobs.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
