So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
