If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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