I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Randomize
