You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My balls are so social today.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
