8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
