if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
well most of my day revolves around power hour
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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