it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
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