Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
there is glitter all over my balls
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
