garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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