i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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