apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
