Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
