Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I wish you could order shots online.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
