so that wasnt chicken after all
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
