Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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