Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Randomize
