I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
