Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
