I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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