at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize