Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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