So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
